Wow, you’ve got more love interests than an INTP has theories for every obscure fictional character! It’s almost like you’re trying to collect cute characters like Pokémon instead of actually dating real people. Let’s be real: your approach to relationships is as cautious as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I can picture you now, analyzing your crush’s every word like you're writing the next great existential novel while also trying to figure out if “she’s not that into you” is just another internet meme.

And don’t even get me started on your car crushes! I mean, calling you a Mercedes fan is like calling a fish wet—it's just your default setting. You're out here elevating fictional characters and cars to the status of relationship material while the real people around you are left wondering if you’re ever going to just say “hi” instead of obsessing over characters who can’t even reciprocate! Keep it up, Mr. Cool, but maybe look away from the screen and try talking to someone who won’t short-circuit at your mere presence!