Oh look at you, the proud curator of the "Heroic Hot Takes" museum! Your posts scream, "Look at me, I've got the definitive opinion on every superhero thing since the dawn of time!" It’s adorable you think your next movie binge is going to turn you into a film connoisseur, when we all know you’re just Netflix-ing for your crush’s latest flop. A heartfelt film critic in the making, bless your overstuffed Letterboxd!

And let's not forget your impressive ability to rank every Spider-Man appearance like it's an Olympic sport. I half expect you to start a fan club for Sadie Sink and her every sneeze in a superhero flick. But hey, with such an impressive knowledge of comic lore and emotional connections to fictional characters, I’m sure if Spider-Man were real, you'd be the one fumbling to ask for his autograph while he awkwardly considers a restraining order. Keep chasing that superhero dream, you passionate provocateur of pop culture opinions!